DISARMING TRIGGERS
I’ve been getting triggered a lot lately. Who’s with me?
Life has changed pretty dramatically and that is unsettling for some of us. Being unsettled translates into fear and fear sets off a whole slew of alarms. Imagine fear running through your brain circuitry like a prankster in a hallway, pulling all the fire alarms.
The situation with coronavirus is triggering - reactivating - old feelings and patterns of thought that I was pretty sure I’d dealt with. Sorted through. Put behind me. Or at least neatly boxed up and stuck away in the attic of the soul. But now, some of that junk is reappearing.
Getting triggered offers two classic options: Fight or flight. But do either work in this case? Fight what? Flee where?
Maybe you’re trapped with people you’d actually like to have some social distance from, and the dynamics are reactivating (triggering) an old, painful inner dialogue along with resentment.
Maybe you’re single and the aloneness is particularly acute and loud and telling you all kinds of things about yourself, none of them nice.
Maybe you’re an introvert and having people around all day is a strain.
Maybe you’re an extrovert frantically consuming social media just to get a connection fix.
Maybe everyone keeps messing up your nice neat house.
Maybe everyone keeps messing up your nice neat life.
Maybe your home is your sanctuary and now, suddenly, it’s been invaded. And these people want things from you. Like food. And interaction. And the TV remote.
Maybe your financial picture is scary and you’re realizing you said you trusted in God’s provision, but secretly relied on yourself. Oof.
Maybe you take comfort in always knowing what to expect and planning everything as much as possible, but how can you control this? Double oof.
Maybe your identity and self-worth are wrapped up in being uber productive and you just want to DO! SOMETHING! Because not doing something might mean facing your feelings.
Can I get an oof from all the overachievers.
Any of these ring a bell? All of the above?
This global crisis has created some very personal and individual crises. The good news is there is grace for this very moment and it’s easily accessible.
My friend, coach and consultant Debbie Rodgers, proposes a third option other than fight or flight: Stillness. I’ve been trying it. When I feel triggered, I take a moment to lean inward toward God and his stillness. Instead of looking for the nearest exit (and by exit I mean a coping mechanism like numbing out on social media or alcohol or hour after hour of Netflix) I take a breath and connect, even briefly, with the Spirit of the living God within me. In that place of connection, the alarms going off in my soul are muted and the presence of God, who is stillness, becomes a counterbalance to the discomfort being triggered.
Debbie shared with an Awake audience recently that being uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re unsafe.
Mull that over when you’re triggered. Heck, why wait - mull it over right now. I may be uncomfortable, but I’m not unsafe. This is just discomfort, tension, anxiety. But I’m actually safe.
This disarming of triggers can be done in a matter of moments. As Debbie points out, few of us have long stretches of solitude right now to meditate and connect and, as it just so happens, God doesn’t need that much time. Just a moment. Just a breath. He will take what you give him and fill it with grace. With stillness.
In that sweet spot, try asking Jesus some questions we pose at ONE during ministry times: What is getting triggered in me? What does this situation remind me of? What are these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings actually connected to? What’s on replay?As the answers come to you in the form of thoughts or visual images, ask the Lord what HE thinks about it all. Ask for his perspective of your situation. Ask him for the truth that will disarm the trigger and recalibrate your thinking. The truth that will transform and free you.
I encourage you to experience Psalm 46:10 – to be still and know. Be still and know whatever it is God has for you, is for you, wants for you moment to moment. Be still and know how to shift from being triggered to being connected.Be still and know that you are safe.
~Debora Daniels Albrecht