Faith and Feelings

 
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I’ve had a rough time recently. I returned home from a mission trip and brought back the dreaded Covid virus. My whole family went down with me, and trying to take care of two young children and recover at the same time was quite the challenge. Everyone has made a physical recovery, but we are still wrestling with the emotional and mental leftovers of the experience. This whole situation has taught me how feelings and faith don’t always line up, but that never changes the reality that Jesus is with me through it all.

As I processed everything that happened, I realized that I felt very alone. I didn’t feel like Jesus was with me, but I talked to Him after the fact. He reminded me that I almost never feel like He is with me in the toughest situations, but every time I take it to Jesus later, He shows me where He was. It is such an interesting experience, but I think the point of having faith is for the moments that I don’t always feel like Jesus is with me. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the circumstances around me, and it is difficult to see past them. I think that’s what might make faith real.

When you are least likely to feel the reality that Jesus is with you, faith has an opportunity to kick into gear. To be honest with you, I didn’t feel like my faith was the highest in my situation, but Jesus did say that all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed. Throughout this time of sickness and difficulty, fear really attempted to take root, but the little faith I had produced a hope that eventually pushed out that fear. What I don’t want you to hear is that I had to attach some sort of faith to a specific belief to find relief. I don’t think my faith was formulaic. I simply entertained a higher reality in my mind, and I felt a level of hope rise in me that gave me a measure of comfort I didn’t have before.

If you are experiencing a time where you feel alone and aren’t sure where Jesus is in your situation, know that it makes complete sense. It’s totally understandable that you feel the way you do. Despite those feelings, though, there is a higher reality that you have an opportunity to examine. Can you entertain the idea that He is with you regardless of how you feel? You don’t even need to accept it fully, but rather just consider it. I find that just dwelling on that for a while can produce the hope necessary to make it through. Even if you aren’t feeling this way right now, you can try taking some time to ask Jesus a few simple questions about your past experiences instead. See what He has to say to you today...

Jesus, are You with me? Where are You? What do You know about this situation that I don’t know?

 
Zach Leal